When You're A Bad Girl

Originally posted on Alphanista.com

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

Mind your manners…Cross your legs…Speak softly…Let him lead…Wear skirts with heels…Become an excellent cook…Find joy in cleaning…Become a nurse…Or a teacher…Nurse your babies…Look the other way when he strays…And you’ll master…Being…a lady

But…when you’re a bad girl…these rules don’t make any sense. In fact, those who follow these rules seem crazy. Exactly what happens to the women who don’t follow the rules? Hmm…Let’s take a look shall we?

Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie gets enough flack from women who say she’s a home wrecker because her free spirited essence grabbed Brad Pitt’s attention and affection, which ultimately helped to create the life she always desired. And those same women who leave heated comments on websites and roll their eyes as her image flashes across the screen secretly desire to BE her and be WITH her. They want that same energy.

Madonna
The Material Girl led the way for a revolution for women everywhere even though she had no role model to emulate. She endured criticism and hatred for her uninhibited nature but she stood firm, never apologizing for being who she was. Today, up and coming artists seek to channel her spirit to capture a sliver of her individuality.

Amber Rose

Why is Amber Rose on this list- she didn’t do anything but become the girlfriend of a star? If you believe that, then you missed the point of this website, we are all in the process of becoming. Amber Rose has all the makings of a trend setter evidenced by the fact that most would only dream of rocking the buzz cut like she does. She was a stripper, is openly bi sexual and could probably take your girl if she had 10 minutes alone with her. No matter how much we want to judge her or hate her, we can’t because it is simply inspiring to watch someone be exactly who they want to be.

Michelle Obama
Shhh…Be quiet. Let your man lead. Child please! Michelle Obama wouldn’t hear it. She actually led her man to the White House and rose to the most honored position as First Lady. On the night that shook the entire world, the night that President Obama won the presidency, he and Michelle settled down to go to sleep and she turned to him and said, “You’re still taking the girls to school in the morning.”

Maya Angelou

What a wise and humble woman. What an example of grace and strength. Well, many don’t know that Ms. Angelou has been married so many times that she won’t even reveal the number because she says she doesn’t want to take away the honor of your ideals of marriage. She was also a prostitute and a pimp in her younger years, leading women to trade their booty for dollars. What makes Angelou’s life so amazing is the fact that she lived life to the fullest, chased her dreams, shared her talents and walked alongside the greatest leaders without a hand up or an advanced education. She tells her story so eloquently and no one alive would dare to criticize this self made giant of the literary world. That in itself, is what inspires so many.

To find out more about this guest blogger, please go to http://te-erika.blogspot.com/.

5 Things I'll Never Get Used To As An Alphanista

Originally posted on Alphanista.com

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

People staring at me
What the hell are you looking at? You’ve never seen a raw ass b*tch with a short cut before?! Damn! Just go ahead and take out your camera and ask me for a picture while you’re at it!

People asking me for advice
What in the hell? Do I look like a counselor to you? I haven’t even made my first million yet- you’re the one driving the Beemer! Just because I don’t give a damn about what you think (and you wanna be more like that) doesn’t mean at any given moment I’m willing to listen to your problems and teach you how to think. Here’s my main piece of advice so you won’t have to ask me again. “F**k what they think about you!”

Dudes walking up to me with hard-on’s
Dude! Control your penis. Why in the hell are you introducing yourself to me and your ding-a-ling is about to poke me in the belly? Go BUY some kitty kat if it’s that serious. Just because you did that, I’m NEVER having sex with you!

Invitations to go party-hopping
Hell NO I’m not going to South Beach with you when we just met! I know you just want to show me off and pretend like you have a hot girlfriend when I am not even trying to give you any booty. Take it slow. Let me see that you deserve to have me as your trophy for an evening. Don’t think you can boost your star quality by rolling with me and you haven’t even paid any of my bills yet.

Women asking me to go shopping with them
The truth is— I hate to shop! I just throw on a mixture of stuff from my closet to create my signature style. I’m not your personal stylist. I am not going to the mall with you to help you put together your look. Create your own style and if you can’t, just go with the simple way to be glam. Buy a white wife beater and wear your favorite pair of jeans with a pair of heels (the color or style of heels doesn’t matter). Go inside the dollar store and find the craziest pair of earrings you see and a bracelet that does not match. Put it all together. Go out and be admired.

Honorable Mention
Being so popular but being so lonely
Why is it that everyone wants my advice, my attention and my time yet…every night I’m on facebook and twitter just itching for a conversation? I haven’t gotten any in MONTHS and I never go out and relax and socialize. I’m so focused on ‘becoming’ that I sometimes forget to just ‘BE’. I’m tired of this solitary confinement. I feel like Ariel in the Little Mermaid. ~singing~ I wanna be where the people are….

Facebook Fan Feature - Alasha

1. Name: Alasha (pronounced a' lay' sha)
2. Age: 30 something
3. Location: Okinawa, Japan
4. Shoe Size: 8 1/2
5. My FIRST internet screen name: CTrese (part of my middle name)
6. The first thing on my mind when I wake up: Going to the bathroom
7. Biggest fear: Making mistakes
8. Biggest hope: To always have all that I need and much that I desire
9. Reason I am unique: I think different than most people. I almost always come up with a different scenario than most.
10. When I was a kid I wanted to be: an optometrist
11. Now that I’m grown I’m actually: an insurance enrollment specialist (realized that I don't like touching strangers nor them touching me)
12. If I could go back to a time in my life, it would be: When I lived in NJ with my grandmother. I would love to listen more intently to all of her stories. I wouldn't change anything in my life though, because it's made me who I am.
13. If I were a road sign, I would be: Hidden drive
14. The last text message that I received: Was from my cellphone provider and it's in Japanese, so I don't know what it says.
15. Top 3 websites that I visit: www.freep.com, www.facebook.com, www.usajobs.gov
16. My favorite quote: "I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn how to let go. Things go wrong, so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies, so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
17. Last year I learned: To trust my instincts, always
18. One thing I WISH would happen: that I get a better job here that agrees with my level of skills and abilities.
19. I really appreciate: The love I get from my family in Michigan and my friends.
20. I could watch this movie a million times: Imitation of Life
21. I never want to: regret something that once made me smile.
22. I know I’ve grown because: I don't feel the need to retaliate when wrong is done to me.
23. Fight or Flight: Fight but know when to go
24. My romantic life is: on hiatus, because my husband is deployed.
25. I enjoy Te-Erika’s writing because: It inspires me and it's real.

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Quick Question: Why Do I Miss My Abuser?

Q: I finally did it. I broke up with him. when do you finally stop missing him? I'm kind of there already, I just hate feeling like he was right about everything and that I really am "impossible to love" and that he was the only guy was the one who got away. Before we broke up, or when I was being "difficult" or acting like a "cunt" those were the things he'd say. So why do I miss him? My mom thinks I'm slow or retarded or something.

A: You miss him because what you had with him was your only representation of love. You yearn for those brief moments where you felt like he loved you. You remember that feeling...you want it again. He held his respect for you over your head like a carrot in a horse race for many years and you never could get it. He fed off of you wanting his approval and for some reason you fed into desiring his approval and proving to yourself that you didn't really deserve it or would ever get it.

You miss him because you have not yet met his replacement. You will continue missing him until you do. It's okay to miss him. He is a part of your life, a part of your story. Allow yourself that. Cry if you want to. Masterbate to the memories if you want to. It's all okay because it's how you feel. Just don't go back to him unless you want to stop complaining about how he treats you. If you go back, that means you love it!

One day, you'll meet a much tighter dude and you'll laugh at being all messed up because of your ex. And no, it won't happen when you get your stuff together, you lose those last 10 lbs or you're 100% over your ex. There are no conditions on the delivery of your true love. It'll happen when you least expect it. I promise. 

Thanks for writing. Hope you feel better!

Tee

Mr Grim 2 Da Reapa on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy

Lobo Honored on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy

www.305hiphop.com

I'm not a Prada bitch and I'm not a Louis Vuitton bitch. I make my own rules."- Lobo

Savvy purveyors of mainstream hip hop culture can attest to the standard fare when it comes to categorizing female artists. You're either a glamour girl, a sex kitten, an afro wearing enlightened chick or a bad bitch…. and then there's Lobo.

Twenty-eight-year-old Lobo The Lycan, is the first female honored with a Gold Star Award on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy for being one of the top connection makers on the entertainment scene in Miami.

The typical and stereotypical, the lame and mundane- Lobo says she's the opposite of everything and everyone that's out there. As a rap artist, promoter, model scout, writer, radio talk show host (Abunchathungs Radio) and advertising sales executive for Heat Magazine, Lobo is making fast moves to embrace her fantasy of becoming the CEO of a superpower entertainment company.

Abunchathugs Entertainment is Lobo's brainchild, conceived under a thick cloud of herbal essence with a hunger for more than snacks, Lobo says she recognized a need for an entertainment company that represents the thugs.

"It was the love that was missing out of the industry and you know your girl got that thug lovin'," Lobo quips. "I had to bring what I got to the table for the thugs and I mean any hustle minded person or anyone who is trying to get to the next level. I'm talking about corporate thuggin'. I want everybody to move up another tax bracket."

The stage sizzles when Lobo performs her single Let Me See That, a shake 'ya rump club bopper where she energetically proclaims her love for fat asses on women.

"I like to see'em bounce," Lobo explains. "Come chill with the boys, come vibe with a bunch of thugs. Pushin' up on a chick, but lettin' em know that I don't wanna get down with you like that but my boys might want to."

Vibe with Lobo on South Beach every Tuesday Night, filling in for DJ Epps as the host of the Sugar Shack Open Mic or catch her on www.myspace.com/yagirllobo.

Krib TV’s Embrace Your Fantasy honors the rising stars of the entertainment industry of South Florida. Hosted by Te-Erika, Embrace Your Fantasy airs on www.krib.tv live at 5pm every Tuesday. Past honorees included Mr. Vicious, Larry Dogg, Will Da Real One, Coach of Head Coach Entertainment and Mr. Grim 2 Da Reapa.

A Whole Lotta Lovin Goin On

Published in April 2009 issue of HEAT magazine

By Te-Erika Patterson

The rest of the country is catching up to what the South has already known- full figured women are the best thing walking. Forget about the size 2 waifs who continue to grace the covers of magazines causing millions of women who don’t fit that mold to feel as though they could not live up to the nation’s standard of beauty.

With the recent celebration surrounding Beyonce’s debut on the April 2009 cover of Vogue magazine, the cover title proudly boasting ‘Real Women Have Curves’, more and more women are dusting off their booty shorts and mini skirts as they declare to the world and everyone in it “I am bold and beautiful because I am who I am!

But you’ll never have to explain that concept to the fellas south of the Mason Dixon. We, the righteous, progressive brothers and sisters down in the dirty dirty already knew that.

We like our women nice and juicy, cornbread fed with an attitude to boot. No longer do we have to conform to an image of beauty spoon fed to us by a select few of nerdy wannabe trendsetters in New York. We take pride in who we are, where we’re from and what we look like when we rock the gear that makes us feel good.

There’s a whole lotta lovin’ for the lovely ladies whose confidence is not defined by their waist size. Whatever the scale says, whatever the dress size, however the jeans fit, we now know that it isn’t the size that dictates our happiness and beauty- it’s the radiance that eminates from inside.

You are beautiful!

An Alphanista VS HMW

Posted on Alphanista.com

By Te-Erika Patterson

Although an Alphanista and an HMW (High Maintenance Woman) may bear remarkable similarities in appearance due to their immaculate flair for style and unflinching flock of followers, the buck stops there. When it comes to dealing with the various intricacies of life the two could not be more different in their approaches.

Friendships

In friendships, the HMW requires devotion and attention. She must be complimented by her friends on every occasion and she seeks their approval when making decisions for her life, although she would never admit to it. She is fickle when it comes to relationships with women. If one of her so called friends does not consistently adore her, she will walk away without even so much as a goodbye, turning to others who will readily give her the admiration that she craves.

Although the Alphanista is usually the most dominant of her circle of friends, she leads in a covert way that is not demanding and allows those around her to believe that they are actually calling the shots. The Alphanista is turned off by women who cling to her every word and mimic her every move. She is supercharged most by fellowshipping with other Alphanistas whose inclination to make their unique mark on the world pushes her to want more and do more.

Business

In business relationships, the HMW is a stickler for details. She is a very savvy business woman because she will cover all of the bases and is sure to get all of the facts before she makes a decision.

The Alphanista has an innate business instinct that she follows without fail. She knows where she is going and even when she is unsure of the steps necessary to get there, she trusts herself to make the best decisions for her life and career and is fueled by her independence. She doesn’t have to check with anyone before making a business move, she is confident enough to deal with any praise or repercussions that may be the result of her efforts.

Style

The HMW is a slave to fashion trends. She is usually spotted on the front row of every fashion show or buying out all of the high end fashion magazines to keep pace with the changing times. She would never wear last season’s handbag or be caught dead breaking any of the many faux paus of style. You will always be impressed by the HMW when you see her at an event- and you should- she takes great effort to maintain her perfection.

The Alphanista usually sports a more classic looks than those regurgitating the fair weather style of the season. She laughs at the trend setters and their followers because she knows that trends are fleeting and require too much work to maintain. She often has a signature accessory like a scarf, perfume or pair of sunglasses which becomes well known as her trademark and is admired and copied by those wishing to be more like her.

Love

When it comes to love and romance, the HMW can snag any man who is eager to feed her addiction to praise and approval. She is often lucky at love due to the fact that there are many men who cling to women who have the appearance of success. In relationships, the HMW is clearly the dominant force, however, she leads by making demands and punishing those who are unable to meet them. Submissive men are a good match for the HMW.

While the HMW is attracted to men who are eager to do her bidding, the Alphanista can not stand a man who is a go-to boy. She is also dominant in her countenance but she knows she can reach greater heights in life with a man who is just a bit more dominant than she is. He is a smooth individual who picks and chooses his battles carefully, knowing full well when to put the smack down and when to sit down and be quiet which delights the Alphanista because she never knows what to expect.

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