Bahiyah Woman Magazine
By Te-Erika Patterson
BWM Writing Team
I was chit chatting with a friend last night. She expressed that she felt a little uneasy because her boyfriend admitted to spending some time with his ex, which prompted me to raise an eyebrow.I didn't understand it.
You see, of all of my friends, THIS particular friend is the one who drove the guys CRAZY. Long time ago, I realized when I was in her presence, guys paid me no attention because all eyes were on her. I didn't get mad about it; I used it to my advantage. Actually, I made her get the guys who were hounding her to get me free drinks all night long! ~smile~ When guys saw her, they were mesmerized by her beauty—it was like they were seeing the sunrise for the first time. Indeed, she's quite special and she has a beautiful spirit.Nevertheless, for some reason, she doesn't know that. The most attractive friend I have is deeply insecure.
"So you're telling me that when you walk out the door you don't think you're the BADDEST b***h? You don't recognize your power as a woman? You don't understand the authority you have inside of you? Do you REALLY believe there's another chick out there who is tighter than you are?" I asked her in disbelief.
"Well, there could be." My friend said in reluctance.
"HOW?!!” I almost choked then I commented, “Listen honey. I may not be the slimmest, have the best clothes or face but I'll be damned if I think ANY WOMAN on this earth is tighter than I am. I've NEVER met a woman who made me feel like she has one up on me! NEVER! And it's not about my looks, it's about everything that encompasses who I am! If I stood next to Beyonce with all my jiggles jiggling I would still look at her and smile knowing she can never be me! She can never contribute what I can contribute to this world. She has her part to play and I have mine and we can never exchange roles.
"I think the main understanding my friend is missing is the fact that we are each unique and purposed on this earth. We can't compare ourselves to the next chick because just like distinct fingerprints, we cannot be matched! If there's a person in your life whom you feel may be able to go out and find someone better than you, then you have two options:
1) Become that better person. Learn and strive more to gain those qualities you feel would make you a better catch.
2) Let them go. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion but THANK GOD, I finally got it. I wholeheartedly believe that any man clueless enough not to recognize and appreciate my majesty is pretty DUMB. And why would I want some dumb man around? Why would I want a person whom I have to PROVE myself to? A smart man will recognize the gift that I will be to his life and he will be intelligent enough NOT to walk away from that. In fact, he'll want to lock me down on the spot!
In essence, ladies…we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. No one compares to you!
Hip Hop artist Remy Ma hit it on the head in her song titled, ‘Conceited’ when she bellowed:
See this ain't nothin that you used to
Out of the ordinary and unusual
You gotta have the mind state like I'm so great
And can't nobody do it like you do
And ain't nobody in here stoppin' you
Show no love, cause you's wassup
Look at yourself in the mirror, like what the f***
Damn, I look good
And can't nobody freak it like I could
Yeah, okay, I got a little fat but
My shorty tell me he like it like that
I'm happy, another me there never can be
See, I'm so outstanding
Don't care if they can't stand me
I'm sittin on top of the world
That's how I feel EVERY SINGLE DAY!
I love me!
They can hate if they want. They can try to imitate if they want...But they'll never be me.
Anyone who can't see that isn't worth a moment of my time and will be promptly dismissed.