How to Train (Motivate) Your Man

By Te-Erika Patterson

Originally posted on www.Alphanista.com

Regardless of his personality type, regardless of his race, regardless of his financial status there are really only TWO different types of men that exist; dominant and submissive. If you want to pull your man towards his best life and push him to be on his best behavior at all times, all you have to do is recognize which type of man you have and then train him.

The Dominant Man

The dominant man is recognized by his confidence in his abilities and the way he makes decisions without needing a consensus. He trusts his own judgment and expects you to respect and trust him too. To motivate this man to be his best, take good care of you and his empire you need to:

· Consistently adore him

· Pamper him

· Respect and support his decisions

· Remind him that he is a King

· Make his home his paradise

· Stay sexy and eager to please

· Feed him

· Be his biggest cheerleader

The dominant man will appreciate a woman who is submissive and plays a role that completely caters to his needs and wants in life. He will probably have a big bark, yelling out orders and throwing his weight around but he does still love you. He exercises his authority aggressively both in the office and at home and it makes him feel like more of a man to have his lady looking sexy and consistently ready to please, without an attitude or objection.

The Submissive Man

The submissive man is recognized by his constant need for reassurance. He needs your approval before he does anything and he adores affection and being petted. He doesn’t really know how to be dominant and he doesn’t want to be. He needs a woman to make him be a better man by:

· Questioning his decision making

· Making him earn home cooked meals

· Rationing out sex as a reward for good behavior

· Punishing him by making him sleep on the couch (or kicking him out the house)

· Belittling him by reminding him that his life would be nothing without you

· Never giving oral sex unless it is your anniversary or he does something outstanding

· Consistently threatening to leave him if he does not meet your expectations

· Constantly critiquing his efforts

The submissive man will appreciate a woman who treats him like a dog because this delights him. Somewhere along the line he was trained to believe that this behavior is indicative of a real woman. He loves a woman with an attitude and would reject any woman who adores him. He has no clue how to be a better man on his own so he needs your aggressive guidance and fully appreciates it.

When You're A Bad Girl

Originally posted on Alphanista.com

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

Mind your manners…Cross your legs…Speak softly…Let him lead…Wear skirts with heels…Become an excellent cook…Find joy in cleaning…Become a nurse…Or a teacher…Nurse your babies…Look the other way when he strays…And you’ll master…Being…a lady

But…when you’re a bad girl…these rules don’t make any sense. In fact, those who follow these rules seem crazy. Exactly what happens to the women who don’t follow the rules? Hmm…Let’s take a look shall we?

Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie gets enough flack from women who say she’s a home wrecker because her free spirited essence grabbed Brad Pitt’s attention and affection, which ultimately helped to create the life she always desired. And those same women who leave heated comments on websites and roll their eyes as her image flashes across the screen secretly desire to BE her and be WITH her. They want that same energy.

Madonna
The Material Girl led the way for a revolution for women everywhere even though she had no role model to emulate. She endured criticism and hatred for her uninhibited nature but she stood firm, never apologizing for being who she was. Today, up and coming artists seek to channel her spirit to capture a sliver of her individuality.

Amber Rose

Why is Amber Rose on this list- she didn’t do anything but become the girlfriend of a star? If you believe that, then you missed the point of this website, we are all in the process of becoming. Amber Rose has all the makings of a trend setter evidenced by the fact that most would only dream of rocking the buzz cut like she does. She was a stripper, is openly bi sexual and could probably take your girl if she had 10 minutes alone with her. No matter how much we want to judge her or hate her, we can’t because it is simply inspiring to watch someone be exactly who they want to be.

Michelle Obama
Shhh…Be quiet. Let your man lead. Child please! Michelle Obama wouldn’t hear it. She actually led her man to the White House and rose to the most honored position as First Lady. On the night that shook the entire world, the night that President Obama won the presidency, he and Michelle settled down to go to sleep and she turned to him and said, “You’re still taking the girls to school in the morning.”

Maya Angelou

What a wise and humble woman. What an example of grace and strength. Well, many don’t know that Ms. Angelou has been married so many times that she won’t even reveal the number because she says she doesn’t want to take away the honor of your ideals of marriage. She was also a prostitute and a pimp in her younger years, leading women to trade their booty for dollars. What makes Angelou’s life so amazing is the fact that she lived life to the fullest, chased her dreams, shared her talents and walked alongside the greatest leaders without a hand up or an advanced education. She tells her story so eloquently and no one alive would dare to criticize this self made giant of the literary world. That in itself, is what inspires so many.

To find out more about this guest blogger, please go to http://te-erika.blogspot.com/.

5 Things I'll Never Get Used To As An Alphanista

Originally posted on Alphanista.com

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

People staring at me
What the hell are you looking at? You’ve never seen a raw ass b*tch with a short cut before?! Damn! Just go ahead and take out your camera and ask me for a picture while you’re at it!

People asking me for advice
What in the hell? Do I look like a counselor to you? I haven’t even made my first million yet- you’re the one driving the Beemer! Just because I don’t give a damn about what you think (and you wanna be more like that) doesn’t mean at any given moment I’m willing to listen to your problems and teach you how to think. Here’s my main piece of advice so you won’t have to ask me again. “F**k what they think about you!”

Dudes walking up to me with hard-on’s
Dude! Control your penis. Why in the hell are you introducing yourself to me and your ding-a-ling is about to poke me in the belly? Go BUY some kitty kat if it’s that serious. Just because you did that, I’m NEVER having sex with you!

Invitations to go party-hopping
Hell NO I’m not going to South Beach with you when we just met! I know you just want to show me off and pretend like you have a hot girlfriend when I am not even trying to give you any booty. Take it slow. Let me see that you deserve to have me as your trophy for an evening. Don’t think you can boost your star quality by rolling with me and you haven’t even paid any of my bills yet.

Women asking me to go shopping with them
The truth is— I hate to shop! I just throw on a mixture of stuff from my closet to create my signature style. I’m not your personal stylist. I am not going to the mall with you to help you put together your look. Create your own style and if you can’t, just go with the simple way to be glam. Buy a white wife beater and wear your favorite pair of jeans with a pair of heels (the color or style of heels doesn’t matter). Go inside the dollar store and find the craziest pair of earrings you see and a bracelet that does not match. Put it all together. Go out and be admired.

Honorable Mention
Being so popular but being so lonely
Why is it that everyone wants my advice, my attention and my time yet…every night I’m on facebook and twitter just itching for a conversation? I haven’t gotten any in MONTHS and I never go out and relax and socialize. I’m so focused on ‘becoming’ that I sometimes forget to just ‘BE’. I’m tired of this solitary confinement. I feel like Ariel in the Little Mermaid. ~singing~ I wanna be where the people are….

Lobo Honored on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy

www.305hiphop.com

I'm not a Prada bitch and I'm not a Louis Vuitton bitch. I make my own rules."- Lobo

Savvy purveyors of mainstream hip hop culture can attest to the standard fare when it comes to categorizing female artists. You're either a glamour girl, a sex kitten, an afro wearing enlightened chick or a bad bitch…. and then there's Lobo.

Twenty-eight-year-old Lobo The Lycan, is the first female honored with a Gold Star Award on Krib TV's Embrace Your Fantasy for being one of the top connection makers on the entertainment scene in Miami.

The typical and stereotypical, the lame and mundane- Lobo says she's the opposite of everything and everyone that's out there. As a rap artist, promoter, model scout, writer, radio talk show host (Abunchathungs Radio) and advertising sales executive for Heat Magazine, Lobo is making fast moves to embrace her fantasy of becoming the CEO of a superpower entertainment company.

Abunchathugs Entertainment is Lobo's brainchild, conceived under a thick cloud of herbal essence with a hunger for more than snacks, Lobo says she recognized a need for an entertainment company that represents the thugs.

"It was the love that was missing out of the industry and you know your girl got that thug lovin'," Lobo quips. "I had to bring what I got to the table for the thugs and I mean any hustle minded person or anyone who is trying to get to the next level. I'm talking about corporate thuggin'. I want everybody to move up another tax bracket."

The stage sizzles when Lobo performs her single Let Me See That, a shake 'ya rump club bopper where she energetically proclaims her love for fat asses on women.

"I like to see'em bounce," Lobo explains. "Come chill with the boys, come vibe with a bunch of thugs. Pushin' up on a chick, but lettin' em know that I don't wanna get down with you like that but my boys might want to."

Vibe with Lobo on South Beach every Tuesday Night, filling in for DJ Epps as the host of the Sugar Shack Open Mic or catch her on www.myspace.com/yagirllobo.

Krib TV’s Embrace Your Fantasy honors the rising stars of the entertainment industry of South Florida. Hosted by Te-Erika, Embrace Your Fantasy airs on www.krib.tv live at 5pm every Tuesday. Past honorees included Mr. Vicious, Larry Dogg, Will Da Real One, Coach of Head Coach Entertainment and Mr. Grim 2 Da Reapa.

An Alphanista VS HMW

Posted on Alphanista.com

By Te-Erika Patterson

Although an Alphanista and an HMW (High Maintenance Woman) may bear remarkable similarities in appearance due to their immaculate flair for style and unflinching flock of followers, the buck stops there. When it comes to dealing with the various intricacies of life the two could not be more different in their approaches.

Friendships

In friendships, the HMW requires devotion and attention. She must be complimented by her friends on every occasion and she seeks their approval when making decisions for her life, although she would never admit to it. She is fickle when it comes to relationships with women. If one of her so called friends does not consistently adore her, she will walk away without even so much as a goodbye, turning to others who will readily give her the admiration that she craves.

Although the Alphanista is usually the most dominant of her circle of friends, she leads in a covert way that is not demanding and allows those around her to believe that they are actually calling the shots. The Alphanista is turned off by women who cling to her every word and mimic her every move. She is supercharged most by fellowshipping with other Alphanistas whose inclination to make their unique mark on the world pushes her to want more and do more.

Business

In business relationships, the HMW is a stickler for details. She is a very savvy business woman because she will cover all of the bases and is sure to get all of the facts before she makes a decision.

The Alphanista has an innate business instinct that she follows without fail. She knows where she is going and even when she is unsure of the steps necessary to get there, she trusts herself to make the best decisions for her life and career and is fueled by her independence. She doesn’t have to check with anyone before making a business move, she is confident enough to deal with any praise or repercussions that may be the result of her efforts.

Style

The HMW is a slave to fashion trends. She is usually spotted on the front row of every fashion show or buying out all of the high end fashion magazines to keep pace with the changing times. She would never wear last season’s handbag or be caught dead breaking any of the many faux paus of style. You will always be impressed by the HMW when you see her at an event- and you should- she takes great effort to maintain her perfection.

The Alphanista usually sports a more classic looks than those regurgitating the fair weather style of the season. She laughs at the trend setters and their followers because she knows that trends are fleeting and require too much work to maintain. She often has a signature accessory like a scarf, perfume or pair of sunglasses which becomes well known as her trademark and is admired and copied by those wishing to be more like her.

Love

When it comes to love and romance, the HMW can snag any man who is eager to feed her addiction to praise and approval. She is often lucky at love due to the fact that there are many men who cling to women who have the appearance of success. In relationships, the HMW is clearly the dominant force, however, she leads by making demands and punishing those who are unable to meet them. Submissive men are a good match for the HMW.

While the HMW is attracted to men who are eager to do her bidding, the Alphanista can not stand a man who is a go-to boy. She is also dominant in her countenance but she knows she can reach greater heights in life with a man who is just a bit more dominant than she is. He is a smooth individual who picks and chooses his battles carefully, knowing full well when to put the smack down and when to sit down and be quiet which delights the Alphanista because she never knows what to expect.

Play It Safe: Text Messaging Do's & Don'ts

Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2009, 2:28 pm
By: Te-Erika Patterson, BlackAmericaWeb.com

So you just upgraded your cell phone plan by adding unlimited text messaging. No more rationing out your texts and getting frustrated when you can’t text back. You now have instant access to everyone you know at any time of the day or night. Don’t go buckwild and think you can do whatever you want to do. Just like with everything else, rules do apply. Slow down, pay attention, and take heed to the following do's and don'ts of text messaging.

Do remember the three Gs if you’re trying to make your special someone feel cherished. Send good morning, good night and good Luck texts when appropriate to keep the love flowing. Maybe if Kanye’s ex had listened to this advice instead of being so Dr. Evil, his album would have been called "808’s & Sexcapades.

"Don’t spam your friends with updates from your daily escapades. That’s why Twitter was invented. Sign up for Twitter, and amuse your followers with eye catching updates like “headed to the store."

Do use Quick Texts. On my way. Running Late. What’s Up? Call me. Too busy to call or too lazy to type out 150 characters? Quick Texts are saved messages conveniently stored in your phone and take a minute to access. They’re in there for a reason. Use them.

Don’t send a three-page text asking for a hookup if you’re creeping with the next woman’s man. Your name may end up in a high profile police report like the reluctant, now-intimate muse reported by TMZ to be behind the Chris Brown/Rihanna fight of the century. Everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame; make sure it’s for something good, okay?

Do remember to send a text message to everyone in your phone when you change your number or else you’ll be sent straight to voicemail when you try to reach out to your friends. No one answers numbers they don’t recognize.

Don’t forget to include LOL when you’re making a joke via text. Sarcasm doesn’t go over well in text messages.

Do send mass text messages for the holidays. Even though it’s impersonal and sometimes annoying, you don’t have time to call 100 people to say Happy New Year. At least they’ll smile knowing you thought enough of them to click their name.

Don’t dismiss someone because they misspell a word in a text. It’s text messaging, not a college entrance essay. Lighten up. And yes ... texted is a real word.

Do vote for your favorite on "American Idol." They need your support!

Don’t send anything that you don’t want other people to read. When the relationship goes sour, sometimes dirty tricks surface, and your words may become evidence against you in myriad of ways.

Do be extra mindful when replying to your boss. Don't slip up and think you're texting to one of your homies, or - even worse - a potential love interest. Those are wires you do not want to get crossed!

Don’t let your texts be your main method of communication with a person of interest. If you meet someone you like, don’t text them right away. Call first. Have a real conversation. Use text messages for the nasty afterthoughts.

Do use codewords if you’re doing undercover deeds. Replace sex with ice cream or ask “Did you let the dog out?” if you want to know if it’s okay for you to come over.

Don’t send a text message like, “I love you," freak out when you don’t get a response and then, five minutes later, send a follow-up text saying, “Sorry, I texted the wrong person.” If you said it and you meant it, don’t back down. Life is so much spicier this way!

---Te-Erika Patterson is a freelance writer in Miami, Florida.

How To Tame An Alphanista

By Te-Erika Patterson
Posted on Alphanista.com

If you’re up for a challenge, your relationship with an Alphanista will be the most frustrating, yet exhilarating ride that you’ve ever experienced- that is, if you know how to navigate the rocky terrain.

Sometimes I meet men who have so much potential but they just don’t get it. With a free spirit like me, you have to operate differently. The same rules that you’ll use with the average woman who uses her skills in the kitchen or the bedroom to snag her man won’t work with me.

Although there will never be a definitive guide to taming an Alphanista, (because she can not be tamed) following these suggestions will get you closer to your goal- the rest is up to God.

Be Consistent
You have to be consistent, mainly because I’m not. My preferences or taste buds can shift whenever the wind blows and I am energized by the complete freedom to change my mind on a whim. It’s challenging enough to wake up and decide what I want out of life “today” so I need a man who means what he says and does what he promises to do, day in and day out. Since most people alter their opinions to match mine, a man who is consistent with his preferences, expectations and actions provides the kind of structure that translates erotically.

Say Yes
You don’t say “no” when I see something pretty because you don’t have to. Your finances are not shaken by the state of the economy because your resources are long and strong. Even if you do lose out on a business venture, you have 5 more right behind it that are flourishing. You believe I deserve the best that life has to offer and you know it’s your responsibility to give it to me. I’m your fantasy woman and you’re not about to spoil your dream come true by not being able to give me my heart’s desires. There’s nothing that delights you more than watching my eyes twinkle as I give you a kiss after trying on one of your sparkly gifts or receiving a phone call from a business connection that you supplied. Thank you!

Correct Me
Yes, I do run shit in most situations and it is completely within my reach to do so elegantly but spending so much time teaching and molding others can take a toll on the psyche of an Alphanista. Don’t abuse this gift but I want to give you the secret; I likebeing taught and corrected by my man. If you can teach me something that will add to the success of my business endeavors I will definitely keep you around longer. And…every once in while, I need to be reminded that I am a mere mortal. An intentional, open handed smack to my rump will revitalize me and I will thank you for it.

Feed Me
I like to eat. You bring the food. That’s your job every single day. Show up to my place empty handed and that proves you don’t give a damn about me or my well-being. Goodbye.

Let It Slide
Sometimes the line between work and play can be blurred, at least in my mind. I have to be the hard ass to get things done and sometimes I carry that attitude home with me. I apologize in advance but you will just have to learn to deal with it. Don’t fight me on it. Let me rant and rave and try to strong arm you into doing the dishes. Instead of overanalyzing my requests- Do the dishes. It doesn’t take away from your role as my man. When I come down off of my power trip, I’ll realize what I’ve done and you’ll benefit from an apology you’ll never forget.

Let Me Love You
Yes, I have a whole list of people whose main desire is to please me but I have a sweet side too. I want to spoil you and pamper you and be your trophy too. I want you to brag to your friends about how well I take care of you and how much I add to your success. Don’t fight me when I want to do something nice for you. You deserve it just as much as I do. Let me take you on a trip and buy you something nice. Let me sweep you off your feet. Allow me to use my powers for good in appreciation for the wonderful man that you are. Let me love you in all of the extravagant, calculated ways that I know how because…I want to. Isn’t it your job to give me what I want? Uh huh…That’s right.

Can An Alpha Female Be A Sorority Girl?

Posted on Alphanista.com

The Alpha female stands out by nature and is uncomfortable conforming to the standards set by society that dictate her actions, growth and level of success. Her sense of individuality is invigorating and she won’t allow another woman (or group of women) to stand before her as judge and jury to determine if she is worthy of being a member of their sisterhood. The Alpha female knows that she doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone.

This may be why few Alpha females ever opt to experience the sisterhood of sororities. However, the cunning and strategic Alpha female will rise above her insecurity about being perceived as one of the crowd and recognize the benefits that her eloquence and skill would add to the sisterhood as well as the importance of connecting with women on a business and social level.

Social connections lead to increased business opportunities.
“People want to work with people they like,” one business leader told me after I expressed resistance to hanging out with him and his colleagues at a happy hour. But, after interviewing women who have successfully navigated the throes of office politics and climbed the ranks at corporations they all remind me that friendships trump skill in major business developments. The more friendships you have as you connect with a national organization that has a reputation for stellar members, the more women you know will support your efforts to achieve your dreams which reflect positively on the sorority.

Developing the ability to work well with other women is a major factor in success.
By joining a sisterhood you will learn that once you’re in, you’re in and there is no walking away from challenges that present themselves. You will learn by trial and error how to allow others to lead, how to channel your emotional impulses effectively in a group full of emotional women and how to support a common goal that may not directly impact your own. This skill is immensely valuable if you honor the principle of sowing and reaping. Women who work well with women enjoy a more elevated level of success than those who won’t recognize the common ground in relationships with other women.

Sorority chapters are a great place to hone your leadership skills.
If you are an Alpha female on the rise, every endeavor that you undertake is an opportunity to put your ever-evolving skill set into practice. An Alpha female who joins a sorority takes advantage of the opportunity to hone her skills as a leader. Of course the Alpha female will become the chapter president and initiate new policies and outreaches; that is precisely why sororities seek out these type of women who will one day move on to owning and operating their own corporations or growing their individual brand name into a multi-million dollar success.

As you meet, connect and come to respect other women who mirror your own level of class, drive and endurance you will experience an increased appreciation for life as you begin to love yourself even more.

You Can Have Whatever (Man) You Like

Posted on Alphanista.com

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

While watching a television biography about the union of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, I was amazed to learn that the entire time Schwarzenegger was single he envisioned marrying someone from a political family, well connected or perhaps even royalty. He saw himself as an influential public figure with an amazingly successful woman by his side. Unknown to us and maybe even unknown to him, as he toiled away as a construction worker, he was pining after a vision for his life that he would one day enjoy.

How many Alpha women in the world have fantasized about meeting a wickedly successful and brilliant man only to share their fantasy with a friend who scoffs at them? You know what you want and it’s not a man you’ll meet on every street corner or at the club on First Fridays.

My greatest romantic fantasy involves a man who will partner with me to help many others achieve success. He has a diverse investment portfolio and is a man of integrity. His creativity blows minds, his communication skills are unmatched and his heart is like gold. He is just like me in so many ways, yet he complements my gifts and talents with talents that are unique to him. He is not a ‘company man.’ If he even chooses to work for a company, he is the boss. He is a public figure and we work together to use our influence to uplift and empower millions.

My friends often smile at me when I’m pouring my heart out about my desires. They pat my leg and shake their heads wondering if I’ll remain single for the rest of my life while still holding on to this dream. Sometimes I wonder too, but that still doesn’t deter me from believing in this awesome business/intimate partner.

I truly believe that the type of man you desire is a direct reflection of the lifestyle you will live. You see yourself smiling proudly as he accepts his awards and you giggle at the thought of him removing the zipper of your ballroom gown with his teeth after a glamorous evening at one of your philanthropic events.

Prepare for that union by becoming as successful as you can. Become the best woman you can be according to your own imagination and enjoy your single life as you build yourself into someone you and your family will be proud of. You want to be an asset to his life just as much as he will be to yours. Ignore everyone who says you want too much, or men like that don’t date women who come from the neighborhood you were raised in.

Your unquenchable desire is like a shining light beckoning you to prepare for your future. Stand tall, become the woman you see standing beside the man you desire. You ARE worthy and you will have it, if you do not break down and decide that you aren’t worthy of what your heart is telling you that you deserve.

The Four Motivating Factors Behind Romantic Attraction

By Te-Erika Patterson
Empress Magazine

If you ask anyone you know how they ended up in a relationship chances are they’ll shrug and say, “It just happened” or “I fell in love”.

But, according to recent research published in the Social Behavior and Personality Journal, there are four distinct motivating factors that influence your desire to become romantically involved with someone. It’s as though you have a need that you want someone else to fill. When you find someone who fills that need, then love can bloom. However, when the need is unhealthy, it can be detrimental to the relationship.

Take a look at these 4 motivating factors and their effect on the relationship.

Distress
One of the most important motivating factors for women who fall in love is the desire to escape from loneliness, anxiety and helplessness. Someone in a distressing situation like single parenthood, may be more likely to have a strong desire for a relationship to escape the pressures of making decisions and taking care of a family alone.

The woman who seeks a romantic relationship for this reason may become dependent on the relationship because their mate is seen as a solution to their problem. If the relationship doesn’t last, the person may seek out another relationship to fill the void creating an endless cycle of attachment, not to the person but to the idea of not being alone when faced with a problem.

Identity Enhancement
Take a minute and list a few of the qualities that you would want in your partner. He could be wealthy, creative, and ambitious or even an entrepreneur. Then use that same list and check off how many of those same traits that you have. Chances are, you fall short of having all of the qualities on the list and there’s a reason for that.

While these women believe that these traits are generally desirable, the desire for a mate who has traits that you don’t possess may be an indication that your motivating factor for romance is to enhance your identity. Being with someone who is smarter than you are or more successful than you are in any area will surely boost your knowledge because by being around them their good habits and traits will rub off on you.

The downside to pursuing a relationship to enhance your identity is the inclination to develop a more manic attraction to your lover, often losing your sense of self in order to become more like the person you admire.

Aging and Social Pressures
You don’t feel old, but your parents and friends may tell you that you are. You look around and notice that everyone is coupled up but you and you convince yourself that you have to find someone to be in a relationship with. Aging and social pressure is another motivating factor that influences romantic attraction.Women who initiate relationships for this reason often overlook the passion and physical attractiveness factors that many other women think are important. Instead, these women seek qualities like financial stability and good health to ensure security.

Sexual Desire
Many women satisfy their sexual desires by pursuing a romantic relationship. Having a consistent sex partner satisfies these women although if this is the motivating factor, they are less likely to engage in companion related activities that are not erotic such as going out to a movie or doing group activities with friends.Although men are generally stereotyped to be unattached emotionally to sexual experiences, there are men who would find this type of relationship to be unfulfilling.

Reference: Jacobs, John R. (1992). Facilitators of romantic attraction and their relation to lovestyle. Social Behavior and personality. 227-234.

Baby Got Track: Explore Miami Via Miami MetroRail

By Te-Erika Patterson
Miami.com

Cruise over the warehouse district, zip by the flat-roof homes and hi-rise condominiums, be mesmerized by the city's breathtaking skyline or sit back and witness the diversity of the different neighborhoods from a commuter perspective.

See Miami on the Miami Metrorail, where a nominal fee of $1.50 will whisk you through a 22-mile tour of our magic city.

Here are just a few of places you won't want to miss.

Stop: Northside
Visit: Northside Shopping Plaza and Flea Market USA
See a part of Miami you've probably never seen by strolling through the urban shopping centers, where you can choose from a variety of food and wares - everything from jewelry to bootleg DVDs. Mingle with the local community and take home a cultural treat... Miami style.
Flea Market USA, 3015 NW 79th St.; 305-836-3677
Northside Shopping Plaza, 7900 NW 27th Ave.

Stop: Historic Overtown/Lyric Theatre
Visit: Overtown's Historical Lyric Theatre and the American Airlines Arena
Plan your trip around a concert or Heat game at the American Airlines Arena, or take a peek at The Lyric Theater, a once-thriving social hotspot in Overtown, Miami's oldest African-American community. While you're in the area, be sure to fuel up at notorious BBQ joint People's.

Stop: Government Center
Visit: Miami Art Museum, Historical Museum and the Main Library
Stroll through the Miami Art Museum, which showcases both local and national artists; then get lost in the stacks at The Main Library, which prides itself on being the city's most expansive collection of literary and resource treasures; and finally head to the Historical Museum and brush up on your Southern Florida history. The best part: they're all housed in the same Spanish fort-style building in the heart of downtown.

Stop: Vizcaya
Visit: The Space Transit Planetarium and Miami Museum of Science
Unleash your inner nerd and check out the Museum of Sceince's Planetarium, which puts on starry showcases during the day and trippy laser light feats set to a Pink Floyd soundtrack at night. Or, take in the museum itself, full of interactive exhibits and a Wildlife Center.

Stop: Coconut Grove
Visit: Cocowalk and the Streets of Mayfair
Enjoy a stroll through outdoor malls Cocowalk and the Streets of Mayfair. Be sure, though, to wander off the beaten path and onto the sidestreets, where you'll find lots of hidden shopping and dining gems, like IOS boutique and Basil Cafe. If you've got the energy, walk down to Kennedy Park, buy a frozen lemonade and chill waterside.

Stop: University
Visit: The University of Miami
Home of the Miami Hurricanes, UM is located in beautiful Coral Gables. Catch a baseball or basketball game (depending on the season), or just take a walk through the impressive 260-acre campus. After working up an appetite, slide into an outdoor booth at the campus' bar/restaurant, The Rathskeller, order a pitcher and reminisce about the days when all you had to worry about was making it to your first class on time - at 2 p.m.

Stop: Dadeland
Visit: Dadeland Mall You want shopping? Dadeland's got shopping, including Florida's largest Macy's, Nordstrom and Sak's Fifth Avenue. Or, head to Dadeland Station to make Target run, get geeky at Best Buy and craft it up at Michael's. Try to squeeze in a bit at Asian café Lan, too. Just don't buy more than you can carry - you are, after all, riding the rails.

How Big Is Regret?

By Te-Erika Patterson
Empress Magazine

Ahhh…Regret. We've all been there before.

"If only I had gone for that law degree instead of sociology, I'd be making six figures by now." or "Why didn't I break up with Damian the first time he lied to me? I wouldn't have all these trust issues with men."

You could probably write an entire book filled with vivid descriptions of the life decisions that you have made and the confusion or bliss that followed. Although past joys will most likely outnumber disappointments, for some reason we tend to focus on what seemed to be our failures, magnifying the experiences and allowing the memories to become predictors of our future.

Regret has two sisters, misery and depression. When these twisted sisters sneak into your life, it's difficult to get them to leave. Even when you manage to close the door, they sneak back in taunting you through distorted mental images and breaking your spirit. You can break the vicious cycle of regret. The key is to learn to trust yourself.

Do you trust yourself?

Do you understand that you are the only person who is equipped to make the best decisions for your life? Each choice that you have made along your life's journey yields to you becoming better at defining what you DO want for your life. No choice is a mistake. Every choice is a defining moment.

You define your best life by experiencing the contrasting moments, those moments and situations where you KNOW what you have is not what you really want. You would have never known that you prefer chocolate cake over vanilla, if you hadn't tasted them both. You would have never known that you desire open communication in a relationship until you were involved with a man that kept secrets. Allow each of these contrasting experiences that you encounter to be the springboard for making life choices that reflect what you do want.

I recently went out with a man who was funny, handsome and successful, but he was also selfish. After our date I didn't become upset because he didn't treat me the way that I desire to be treated. Instead, I focused on those qualities that he had that made me attracted to him, and then I replayed the date over in my mind with him behaving in a manner that was more suitable to my tastes. That exercise allowed excitement and joyful anticipation to flow through my spirit. If I continue to brood over the disastrous date, I may never go out with a man again. Why should one train wreck of a date derail my potential happiness? Now that I know what I don't want, it will be much easier to recognize (and appreciate) those things that I do want.

While you are sitting there, slumped over, focused on the boulder in your life, you're oblivious to the alternate pathways to moving forward to where you really want to be.

When you're focused on the problems of the past, your subconscious mind is searching for evidence to validate your innate beliefs.

I always make the wrong choices.

I never get it right.

I can't do this.

As a result, you become less confident in your choices, which will inevitably lead to regretting every decision when the slightest challenge presents itself. Your life will be much more pleasant when you trust that you have always made the best decisions for your life and you will continue to do so.

Replace those limiting beliefs with these heartfelt affirmations:

I am capable of making the best decisions for my life.

Every choice that I make sets me on the right path to my most brilliant future.

I am wise enough, strong enough and intelligent enough to achieve anything my heart desires.

I trust myself in every way.

The past is dead. The future is waiting. The ultimate power is in your NOW. Regret nothing. You have not made a wrong choice. Trust yourself, you always get it right.

My New Website

My inspirational E-Zine which is dedicated to providing the information and inspiration necessary to empower you to achieve your fantasy life. Visit EmbraceYourFantasy.

BlackAmericaWeb.com Editorial Development

As a web content developer/editor I:

• Developed visual and creative concepts for seasonal features
• Created a list of the story ideas I wanted to feature
• Assigned the stories out to freelance writers that I had to identify and develop relationships with
• Worked with the graphic design team to create a landing page
• Edited and uploaded all of the stories to the website
• Contributed my own editorial to the themed features
• Managed updates to the the pages, allowing fresh content to "roll out" every other day according to the schedule I created
  
  Check out these fun features!
  
  Mother's Day
  
  Celebrating Father's Day

BlackAmericaWeb.com Author Bio

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Published Work

READ 10 Things I Wish I had done before I became a Mom

READ Books that Empower the Black Father

LISTEN Podcast Interview With Dr. Donda West- How to Raise A Superstar

READ How to Tell If your Boyfriend Will Make a Good Father

READ If Your Life Had a Soundtrack

READ Single Moms: This is Why We're Hot

READ Your Fantasy: Celebrity Baby Daddy

LISTEN Podcast Interview With Comedian Bruce Bruce for Father's Day

LISTEN Podcast Interview With Comedian George Wallace for Father's Day

LISTEN Podcast Interview with Dr. Donda West, author of Raising Kanye

LISTEN Podcast Interview with John Legend

Puppy Love: When Your Pet Is Your Baby

By Te-Erika Patterson
BlackAmericaWeb.com

Thirty-year-old Carmi Thomas is a devoted non traditional parent. She happily prepares home made meals for her 8-month-old. She wakes up early to brush his hair, give him vitamins and spend time with him before dropping him off at daycare.

By day Carmi trains social workers for certification in Hillsborough County, but that isn't her real job. Her real job is catering to and pampering an 8-month-old Coton De Tulear puppy she calls Hollywood.

“If I had to do it all over again I would’ve waited until I finished my masters degree because he’s so time consuming,” says Carmi, who adopted Hollywood when he was 7 weeks old. Carmi, who is single with no kids, loves to pamper her pooch.

Besides allowing Hollywood to sleep in the bed with her, ‘on top of the covers only’ she insists, Carmi enjoys rubbing his belly until he falls asleep in the evenings. She spoils Hollywood by purchasing the latest canine couture and showcasing his superstar swagger in a variety of jazzy dog carriers that look more like fashionable purses.

“Hollywood is a superstar just like his Mama,” Carmi says proudly. “He was three pounds when I got him so I carried him in my purse. On the weekends we go everywhere together. I take him to the mall. I sneak him into Wal-Mart. I even sneak him inside restaurants when I can’t find one with outside patio seating.”

“He’s a Superstar,” Carmi squeals excitedly. “We’re on our way to the top!”


Yes, Carmi is a super Mommy, but Hollywood does have a father. Her boyfriend, Greg Warren whom she has been dating off and on for more than a year was with her when she adopted Hollywood and has grown to share the same affection for the pup.

During the pair’s most recent ‘off’ period, Carmi and Greg decided that they would have to sit down to establish visitation rights with Hollywood.

But this type of puppy love isn’t celebrated by everyone in Carmi’s life. Michael Oliver has known Carmi for 17 years and he says this kind of love may be dangerous.

“First of all, she came over to the house with that little purse with the dog in it. I was like, ‘Why don’t you leave that dog at home? Why are you walking around with that dog in that purse?’” Michael explains. “I don’t think she should love her dog that much. I think it’s displaced love but now it’s too late because she’s in too deep. It’s 6 months in and she can’t get out now.”

While Michael wants the best for his friend, he believes that her devotion to her pet is an attempt to fulfill a void in her life. “She just bought a house and I guess she didn’t want to be there by herself,” Michael says. “She doesn’t have anyone to talk to but Hollywood. Hollywood probably understands what she’s talking about. He probably licks the tears off her cheeks. My wish for them is that they would be together forever. Let no one come between her and Hollywood…no other dogs either.”

Dr. Karen Johnson of The Banfield Path Pet Hospital in Portland, Oregon disagrees with Michael. “That is someone who has obviously not had any pets,” she remarked after hearing his comment. “Maybe as a child his family had animals but didn’t consider them to be pets. There are research studies that show that pets decrease stress.”

“That kind of bond exists because nothing else in the world that gives unconditional love like pets do,” Dr. Johnson continued. “They provide a sense of joy and a sense of purpose. I bet if you go down to your local animal shelter and pick one up, you’ll fall in love too.”

When Carmi comes home at the end of a long day she can expect that Hollywood will be jumping up excitedly as if to say, “You’re home! You’re home! I’m so glad you’re home!”

“He’s my little companion, my little friend,” Carmi says softly. “When I’m not talking to God, I’ll talk to Hollywood.”

Celebrity: I Want You Back

Date: Friday, April 20, 2007
By: Te-Erika Patterson, BlackAmericaWeb.com

In the world of scintillating celebrity hook-ups it seems as though even the most solid relationships take a nose dive and millions of fans across the globe are left feeling as lonely and brokenhearted as Brandy. Here are a few couples we’re hoping will get back together, for their sake and ours.

Nick Lachey wants Jessica Simpson back...
Awww…They were sooo cute together! And we really don’t want to hear another sappy single from Nick like ‘What’s left of me’ Dude, get a grip. Whining over some chick who doesn’t know what buffalo wings are spells L-O-S-E-R.

Whitney Houston wants Bobby Brown back...
If Bobby’s gone, who’s gonna go on crack runs for the ice princess now? Let’s leave the life transformation to Mary J. Blige. Whitney’s so much more funny on drugs and Bobby needs a place to stay.

Britney Spears wants Kevin Federline back...
She knows she loves her Baby Daddy. Kevin must have that whip appeal because after their break-up Britney’s gone bonkers while Kevin’s just gone…out to the club. Bring back the American family. Do it for the kids.

The FREE WORLD wants Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons to get back together.
They’re Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius, the other’s insane. These two were on the verge of taking over the world. What’s going to happen to us now?

Juanita Jordan wants Michael Jordan back because...
No one can slam dunk that thang like Michael can.

I'm So Outstanding

Bahiyah Woman Magazine

By Te-Erika Patterson
BWM Writing Team

I was chit chatting with a friend last night. She expressed that she felt a little uneasy because her boyfriend admitted to spending some time with his ex, which prompted me to raise an eyebrow.I didn't understand it.

You see, of all of my friends, THIS particular friend is the one who drove the guys CRAZY. Long time ago, I realized when I was in her presence, guys paid me no attention because all eyes were on her. I didn't get mad about it; I used it to my advantage. Actually, I made her get the guys who were hounding her to get me free drinks all night long! ~smile~ When guys saw her, they were mesmerized by her beauty—it was like they were seeing the sunrise for the first time. Indeed, she's quite special and she has a beautiful spirit.Nevertheless, for some reason, she doesn't know that. The most attractive friend I have is deeply insecure.

"So you're telling me that when you walk out the door you don't think you're the BADDEST b***h? You don't recognize your power as a woman? You don't understand the authority you have inside of you? Do you REALLY believe there's another chick out there who is tighter than you are?" I asked her in disbelief.

"Well, there could be." My friend said in reluctance.


"HOW?!!” I almost choked then I commented, “Listen honey. I may not be the slimmest, have the best clothes or face but I'll be damned if I think ANY WOMAN on this earth is tighter than I am. I've NEVER met a woman who made me feel like she has one up on me! NEVER! And it's not about my looks, it's about everything that encompasses who I am! If I stood next to Beyonce with all my jiggles jiggling I would still look at her and smile knowing she can never be me! She can never contribute what I can contribute to this world. She has her part to play and I have mine and we can never exchange roles.

"I think the main understanding my friend is missing is the fact that we are each unique and purposed on this earth. We can't compare ourselves to the next chick because just like distinct fingerprints, we cannot be matched! If there's a person in your life whom you feel may be able to go out and find someone better than you, then you have two options:

1) Become that better person. Learn and strive more to gain those qualities you feel would make you a better catch.

2) Let them go. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion but THANK GOD, I finally got it. I wholeheartedly believe that any man clueless enough not to recognize and appreciate my majesty is pretty DUMB. And why would I want some dumb man around? Why would I want a person whom I have to PROVE myself to? A smart man will recognize the gift that I will be to his life and he will be intelligent enough NOT to walk away from that. In fact, he'll want to lock me down on the spot!

In essence, ladies…we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. No one compares to you!

Hip Hop artist Remy Ma hit it on the head in her song titled, ‘Conceited’ when she bellowed:

See this ain't nothin that you used to
Out of the ordinary and unusual
You gotta have the mind state like I'm so great
And can't nobody do it like you do
Miraculous, phenomenal
And ain't nobody in here stoppin' you
Show no love, cause you's wassup
Look at yourself in the mirror, like what the f***
Damn, I look good
And can't nobody freak it like I could
Yeah, okay, I got a little fat but
My shorty tell me he like it like that
I'm happy, another me there never can be
See, I'm so outstanding
Don't care if they can't stand me
I'm sittin on top of the world

WOW!

That's how I feel EVERY SINGLE DAY!

I love me!

They can hate if they want. They can try to imitate if they want...But they'll never be me.

Anyone who can't see that isn't worth a moment of my time and will be promptly dismissed.

The Contemporary Black Woman Holds the Torch Of Success

By Te-Erika Patterson

We are intelligent. We are innovative. We are passionate. We are strong. We are a new breed of women. We are the contemporary Black women that our ancestors dreamt of. We take risks, we change lives and we inspire others to do the same.

The National Women’s Business Council estimates that there are more than 414,000 majority-owned, privately-held firms owned by Black women in the United States. These firms employ more than 254,000 people and generate over $19.5 billion in sales each year. Today we are also seeing a rise in Black women who seek higher education. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more than 80 percent of Black women over the age of 25 have earned a high school diploma or a college degree. A report recently published by NorthJersey.com cites that 68 percent of all baccalaureate degrees awarded nationwide to Blacks are earned by women. Black women in America have shattered the glass ceiling in every industry and are consistently acknowledged for their positive contributions to the workplace.

Black sisters are doing it big as evidenced by the fact that Oprah Winfrey is the highest paid television entertainer in the world while Serena Williams stands strong as one of the top paid female athletes earning approximately $12.7 million a year. Our beauty is celebrated like never before, affording more opportunities for women of color to reap the benefits from high paying careers in entertainment, fashion and modeling.From mother to daughter, hand to hand, there’s a fire being passed down through each generation. Each flame burns brighter than the next. The warmth of each embrace fuels the passion of each spirit pushing us to dream bigger, fight harder and live life better than the woman passing us the torch.

All limitations have been removed. The stage is set. It will only take sheer determination and will power to meet any projected goal. There’s a light shining inside of you that is yearning to be shared with the world. If no one else recognizes its existence you have to know that it is there. Stand up. Appreciate your light. Use the tools handed down to you to carve your niche in society. You were created with a purpose. Celebrate that purpose and prepare to pass on an even greater gift to the women in the wings waiting eagerly for you to light the way.

Avoid Stress To Be Your Best

Thrivin Online

By Te-Erika Patterson

Like most professionals on the grind, a full day of work could equal a full day of stress.

Here are five ways to increase your happiness level by eliminating the stress from your life.

Be Inspired
Positive conditioning of the mind changes the way the trying realities of life affect you. Purchase a book of quotes by an inspirational author like Dennis Kimbro or Joyce Myers. Positive affirmations seep into your spirit and are natural stress busters when the weight of the world comes crashing down.

Leave It On Your Desk
Every so often you wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat recalling something that you forgot to do at work. You’re unable to go back to sleep and your body pays for it the next day. The business will not crumble without you. Your job does not hinge on one project. Your peace of mind should not be attached to your job. A job is a means to take care of your family, it is not a defining factor in your life. Work as though you are a giving a gift to your employer; always give the very best. Also remember that peace of mind is a gift to yourself. Never let anything interfere with that.

Make Happiness A Habit
Some people believe happiness is a result of joyful circumstances but happiness is achieved by choice. Choose to believe that whatever circumstance you are in is propelling you toward your destiny. Good or bad, stressful or easy going, your ultimate destiny will not be denied therefore have peace knowing that no matter what you see going on around you, you will achieve all that is set before you to accomplish. Choose to be content during all circumstances. Your end has already been determined, brace yourself for the ride and look forward to a safe and exciting arrival at your delightful destiny.

Say No
Have you ever wondered why the elderly are so obstinate and seem to always be out of sync with the latest trends? It’s because they have gotten past the need to please society and fit in. They say NO with gusto! They wear purple socks with sandals and eat ice cream after midnight. Their happiness is their only priority after realizing that they have spent their entire lives trying to please a group of people whose desires were constantly changing. Say NO to the frivolous demands of the world. Please yourself, take care of your family and love who you are.

Be Patient
In a microwave world like ours it’s easy to want to see things happen faster than it takes to speed through the drive-thru. It’s true that good things come to those who wait, but also consider that good qualities develop over time. Think about the person you were just a few years ago. I’m sure your life goals have not changed much since then. Today you are better equipped and more mature to handle that career that you desire so passionately. Your finances are in order now so it may be time to consider starting a family. The achievement of every goal takes a process of learning and character building. Remember slow and steady wins the race.